First of all, what is an initiation?

In the general sense in which I would use it, an initiation is a transformational experience. One has been through an initiation after having something happen which changes, at some level, who one is -- and one cannot go back. Passing through these doors can only be done in a single direction; they carry with them experiences that change a person.

Ordinary life is full of initiatory experiences, many of which are not recognised as such. The archetypical ones are, of course, birth and death; both are one-way portals that change the person in fundamental ways. This is why birth and death imagery is common in formal initiations: these are the universals, and any initiatory experience can be symbolised as the death of the old self and the birth of the new, transformed one. A few other initiatory things that some people have gone through: first (consensual) sexual experience, living on one's own without parental support, reaching driving age or drinking age, marriage, becoming a parent, death in the family. The level of import that each of these things has on each individual will vary; the level of transformation that happens will vary.

These are not things that one can do to oneself. "I'm going to have a life-transforming experience today!" is not terribly efficacious. One can take actions intende to bring about such an experience, however, and try to place oneself in situations where the revelation, the satori will take place. (Consider the Zen student who studies at the feet of the master for years on end, until that final critical piece falls into place and "Hearing this, the student was enlightened.") People often take steps to bring themselves into the initiatory experience -- trying to have children, getting ready to sign the lease on a first apartment, what have you -- but these are not the initiations; the initiations happen later, as consequence and revelation.

So what do people who talk about initiation in a pagan context mean?

People who discuss initiation in paganism are generally associated with religions that are focused on Mysteries. Not all pagan religions are Mystery religions, so not all pagans will be concerned with Mysteries. (Most of the ancient paganisms had Mystery cults of some sort, but the information needed for them has been, largely, lost; most reconstructionists are fairly skeptical about the capacity to revive such practices.)

Mystery is a Greek term, in this context, for those transforming realisations. The Greeks further divided the Mysteries into what they termed the greater and lesser; lesser Mysteries were those which were vulnerable to being lost through spoilers, like a twist movie ending. The greater Mysteries were ones which could not be spoiled, because they needed to be experienced to be understood; secrecy there was not a polite way of keeping other people from being able to enjoy the ending, but a consequence of passing through the portal -- only people on the other side of the door could understand it.

A Mystery religion, cult, or tradition is a process of containing and passing on a way of reaching a set of Mysteries. Rather than the haphazard initiatory experiences of daily living, they have a means of bringing people to an understanding of a specific Mystery.

"Initiation" in this context is something that a group does to bring a person into understanding of its Mysteries. Some groups have introductory Mysteries and then more advanced ones as one develops along their path; they may or may not call the later ones "initiations", but they are still initiatory experiences.

So why are these initiations important?

The Mysteries are not, in and of themselves, necessarily important. They are, however, things that some people want to pursue. (Historically speaking, Mystery cults existed alongside mainstream religious practices, as a place for people who were devoted in particular ways to explore their devotion and pursue that esoteric knowledge.) One does not need to be initiated to worship the gods, to devote oneself to study, or a number of other things that are a part of religious practice.

One needs to be initiated to know the Mysteries that come with that specific initiation. That's all.

Might I be able to find those same Mysteries through stuff I do on my own?

In theory, sure. The possibility of finding that knowledge is out there, after all; people have been finding Mysteries for at least the span of recorded history, and they found the ones that specific groups chose to preserve.

In practice? There are probably infinite numbers of Mysteries, varying at a variety of levels, much as there are probably infinite numbers of paintings. Someone who hits a satori through the experience of living or the intervention of outside forces may find one with the same subject matter as one of the Mysteries guarded by other organisations, or done in the same style, or with the same colour palette, but the odds of it being the same Mystery are very small.

Further, even if someone hits the same Mystery through their independent stuff, this is essentially unverifiable: initiatory groups know people have experienced the same Mysteries that they have because of the initiatory process. Mysteries are not amenable to normal communication; this is part of their definition. The experience is not readily accessible in this way.

(I am reminded of a story my father told me about learning to ski. When he was learning, he was told that the motions to turn on the slopes were 'down, up, down'. He spent some time muttering, "Down, up, down" to himself, and falling down, and not turning -- until it clicked. And his response then was something like, "Oh! Down, up, down!" I think of this whenever I remember going through the same process -- the sense of, "Why didn't anyone tell me how this works?" is profound, even though the best words available are, "Down, up, down.")

It is also worth noting that some Mysteries may not live comfortably in the same head; someone who has gone through one process of revelations may not be able to experience the Mysteries from a different line. I suspect that this interference pattern may be most strong with Mysteries that are almost, but not quite, the ones that are kept by a group: the possibility of other truths getting in the way of understanding the ones that people are trying to convey is higher the closer they are together.

So why is it so hard to find someone who will initiate me?

The Mysteries perpetuated by a particular group aren't going to be terribly relevant to J. Random Pagan; they are, however, going to be very important to the members of that group, who have made a commitment to and invested in those Mysteries. That group has an idea of what sorts of things a person needs to go through to reach the experience of revelation; if a person does not seem to them to be able to make that level of dedication or have the qualities that are necessary to get through the initiatory process, the group will not accept them as a candidate for initiation.

This is something the group gets to do. There are Mysteries enough in the world without having to get their Mysteries, after all, and there is no abstract right to having other people invest in one enough to bring one to an understanding. Even schoolteachers get paid; many people doing initiatory preparation work do so for love of the Mystery or only minimal compensation for their time, materials, and effort.

Further, initiations are transformational experiences. Many of these transformations will have consequences in all parts of one's life. If one thinks of an initiatory experience as a death of the old person and birth of the new, some of this is clearer: the new person has to learn how to continue with the old person's life. Some things will be clearly outmoded or defunct; some things will clearly need different time and effort. Working through this process is something that is necessary after every initiatory experience; many people find initiation into Mysteries to be a particularly dramatic manifestation of this principle. The initiatory current is likely to be a major life-changing experience.

Initiatory current?

This is one of the ways of expressing initiatory experience. (Or it may be something different but related; as I am not initiated into any of these Mysteries, I don't know this for sure.)

Each Mystery has a sort of energy or resonance to it; part of the work leading up to initiation is getting a person ready to deal with that sort of energy and that sort of approach to the world. Someone who has been brought into contact with the energies of the Mystery has access to that energy and its transformational properties. Some people report that they can recognise other initiates in the same family of Mystery traditions as their own by recognition of this familiarity, as if it were a magically marked signet ring.

Each Mystery differs. Some of these forms of energy are difficult to handle, far from normal human experience, or intense; the traditions that preserve those Mysteries tend to be very careful about conducting initiations, because people who aren't well-prepared for those effects (even though they cannot be perfectly prepared, due to the nature of Mystery) can be hurt by being brought into alignment with those energies in a haphazard or half-assed way.

Summing up: why initiation, then?

Because some people want to preserve the Mysteries to which they are dedicated, and have found a method for conveying the revelations of their tradition both consistently and safely.